Pew Humour

Things you never hear in church…………..

  1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
  2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 20 minutes over time.
  3. Personally, I find volunteer work much more enjoyable than golf.
  4. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior Sunday School class.
  5. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
  6. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
  7. Rector, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in theBahamas.
  8. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
  9. I couldn’t find space to park outside. Praise God!


The Ten Commandments

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandments to “honour thy father and thy mother”, she asked, “is there a commandment that teaches us how to teat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered “Thou shall not kill.”